There is a very interesting social dynamic that takes place when people find out that you intend on going to Africa. Apparently, Americans find it socially appropriate to either A) tell you their incredibly uneducated opinion on the entire continent or B) to offer unsolicited, unhelpful advice on your adventure there. In an instant, anyone who has seen a news blip is an expert, and they are all too obliging to share their expertise with the clueless international traveler who has doubtless done inadequate research on their destination.
I’m not entirely sure how this dynamic evolved; I feel like either support or intrigue would be much more appropriate responses to finding out that someone is doing something so bold and unconventional as venturing beyond the isolationist borders in which they were born. But of course, we are brought up to believe that everything we need is contained in these fifty “united” chunks of land. As a frustrated traveler, I offer these unspoken responses to common inputs people have for travelling to Africa, expressed here in this blog so that our relationships can be preserved. I have also included some worthy input, because some people do actually know how to support wanderers.
I should also add that most of these come out of culturally ignorant generalizations about Africa, which is continent of some 3,000 different cultures. Using the word “Africa” to refer to a culture or place is very misleading, and brings up all kinds of stereotypes that I will now proceed to slam.
- “Watch out for Ebola.”
“There are 54 countries in Africa, 3 of which have an Ebola outbreak and…you do know that Africa isn’t a country, right?”
- “Have you thought about going somewhere with less conflict?”
“I hadn’t thought of that! I could stay in the perfectly peaceful US of A where everyone lives in harmony and community! I hear Ferguson and Compton are really nice this time of year.”
- “Do it while you’re young!”
“Do…do they not issue visas to old people? Or are you just making excuses for yourself?”
- “I work with a guy from Africa!”
“So you’ve basically been there!”
- “Don’t get kidnapped by ISIS.”
“…do you own a map?”
- “Oh, which part?”
“Holy shit, you actually know there are multiple parts of Africa? Will you please run for Congress?”
- “Be careful of venomous animals.”
“That’s funny you say that, because I just found a black widow in my apartment that told me the same thing.”
- “Don’t get AIDS.”
“Don’t get diabetes.”
- “My daughter’s friend’s boyfriend just got back from…where was it? Kenya? Uganda? That’s in Africa, right?”
“Wow, you’re really working for this connection, aren’t you?”
- “I think it’s really awesome that you’re going somewhere non-traditional. Not a lot of people have the guts to do something like that.”
“Yeah?! Well you think— Oh, really? Not a lot of people have the guts to support decisions they don’t understand, so thank you.”
- “Don’t forget your malaria medication.”
“Damnit! I knew I was forgetting something! I’m such a n00b. You know what, you should just go instead—you’ve clearly done more research than me.”
- “Won’t you be a target over there?”
“You mean because I’m immersing myself in another culture and embracing different people groups as fellow human beings? Yeah, Africans hate that.”
- “I’ll have to send you with some food! I don’t want you to starve over there.”
“Don’t worry. Between living in the trees and chucking spears, I should be able to catch something edible.”
- “Oh, are you going to be a missionary?”
“Well, as you know, there are only two jobs available in Africa: missionary and cannibal. So I guess I’ll have to be a missionary!”
- “Don’t eat anything weird over there!”
“You mean like genetically modified grains or meat pumped with antibiotics? Don’t worry, I won’t!”
- “I honestly don’t know anything about Africa.”
“You are apparently the 1%, and a breath of fresh air. Can we be penpals?”
- “Why?”
“…I don’t understand the question.”
- “Why would you want to go to Africa?”
“Because it’s a continent of over 3,000 distinct and fascinating people groups whose cultures are vibrant, unique, community-oriented, and far more embracing and vivacious than our own (Oops, did I drop a generalization?). Because Ghanaians will band together and stick up for the foreigner. Because Ethiopians are so fiercely proud that they were never conquered by a European power. Because the Maasai are learning the line between tradition and modernity. Because the Banyanga have the Mwindo Epic. Because many African people groups have a custom of sharing one dish with their hands and inviting any friends to join. Because, despite a history of being pushed down, enslaved, spat on, ravaged, taken advantage of, and the butt-end of horribly insensitive stereotypes, these people open their arms to share what culture hasn’t been stripped from them. So tell me: why would you want to stay here?”
